Ken didn’t usually didn’t do lists and poetry – the kind of stuff that floats around the web as junk e-mail, but he liked this and wanted to put it in our church newsletter – but never got around to it.

Maybe only pastors and pastor wives (who have heard every excuse in the book) would get it – but I still think it’s hilariously funny. I decided to post it today – in honor of the fact that I’m off work and heading for the Cub game.



1. Everytime I went, they asked for money.

2. The people I sat next to didn’t seem very friendly.

3. The seats were too hard.

4. The manager never visited me at home.

5. The umpire made a decision I didn’t agree with.

6. I was sitting next to hypocrites – they only came to see what the other people were wearing.

7. Some of the games went into extra innings and I was late getting home.

8. The organist played songs I never heard before.

9. The games are scheduled when I want to do other things.

10. My parents took me to too many games when I was growing up.

11. Once I read a book on sports, so I know more than the coaches, anyhow.

12. I don’t want to take my children because I want them to choose for themselves what sport they like best.

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