Ken didn’t usually didn’t do lists and poetry – the kind of stuff that floats around the web as junk e-mail, but he liked this and wanted to put it in our church newsletter – but never got around to it.
Maybe only pastors and pastor wives (who have heard every excuse in the book) would get it – but I still think it’s hilariously funny. I decided to post it today – in honor of the fact that I’m off work and heading for the Cub game.
WHY THE PASTOR DOESN’T GO TO CUB GAMES
1. Everytime I went, they asked for money.
2. The people I sat next to didn’t seem very friendly.
3. The seats were too hard.
4. The manager never visited me at home.
5. The umpire made a decision I didn’t agree with.
6. I was sitting next to hypocrites – they only came to see what the other people were wearing.
7. Some of the games went into extra innings and I was late getting home.
8. The organist played songs I never heard before.
9. The games are scheduled when I want to do other things.
10. My parents took me to too many games when I was growing up.
11. Once I read a book on sports, so I know more than the coaches, anyhow.
12. I don’t want to take my children because I want them to choose for themselves what sport they like best.