So, with a lot of stuff to accomplish, I have decided to do one out-of-the-ordinary house task each week. By-out-of-the-ordinary I mean something other than laundry, dishes, floors etc.

Well last weekend, I enthusiastically did the first thing on my list which turned into a stupid experience I won’t even describe. But so be it. I tried.

This weekend’s task was chosen for me by necessity.

Once along time ago in another life – truly – we were living in Wisconsin and our kids were in junior high or something, Ken and I went to a craft show and found a swag lamp with a solid wood base that someone had turned on a lathe. the lamp was one of a kind and just what we needed being that we had no overhead light in our living room.

When we moved, the lamp moved with us which was good because once again we had no overhead light.

For the past year or so, we’ve noticed cracks in the coating on the wood and I knew that sooner or later I would need to get rid of the so-eighties lamp and buy something new.

Then the light itself went poof and that was that.

Being that people are coming to the house and there was now NO light in the living room, a trip to the friendly, local do-it-yourself-and-fix-up-your-house store seemed providential.

So today, after work, I went.

I had already learned that swag lamps were out – unless you wanted to wire your own or buy one off some obscure web site, so I went to Plan B. I needed two stand-up lights.

I was doing just fine looking for what I wanted when some big, tattooed guy came and asked if he could help me. I told him what I was looking for and then he told me about this set of three lamps for$50.00 which was a good deal and looked nice – except he had bought the display set and he wasn’t sure they had any left.

That didn’t exactly help me, but it was ok, because I wasn’t sure I wanted a super cheap set of lamps anyhow. (Not expensive either – just somewhere in the middle.)

So he starts looking around to see if he can find me a set of 3 for $50.00-type-lamps even though I didn’t say I wanted them.

He can’t find the lamps so he calls this other big guy over. So I’m kind of crammed up against a wall with these two big guys – one on either side of me talking to each other. I’m literally trapped.

The conversation went like this:

Joe: Do you know if we have any of those 3 for $50.00 lamp sets left?

Moe: We should. (looking around) We had one on display.

Joe: I bought that display one.

Moe: You can’t do that.

Joe: Why? I thought it was the last one.

Moe (getting angry –  boss to an employee): That’s not allowed.

Joe: But Sam said I could

Moe: Sam?

Joe: Yeah, Sam.

Moe: That’s against the rules. You can buy one in a box but not on display …

Joe: But I was told it was ok.

Moe: It’s not ok. Don’t ever do that again.

Joe: But they told me I could.

Moe: It’s not right.

Anyhow, you get the idea.  Seriously, this went on for about five minutes.  They totally forgot a customer was not only listening to this – but I couldn’t move – squished in between as they yelled over my head.

Should I scream? Should I make a run for it? Should I …???????????????

Why is it that it’s so uncomfortable listening to someone be reprimanded even when that someone isn’t you?

I eventually did get what I wanted (not 3 for $50.00), but the two lamps I preferred.

And the life of the eighties shag has ended.

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